Confusion

The most taxing moment of my January has to have been two weeks ago: the time I opened blackboard and downloaded my first course syllabus for the semester. Looking at that depressingly familiar header, the name of the professor, office hours, lecture room etc., I was hit by an unfamiliar wave of nausea. It was a chilling to the bone experience of complete exhaustion at the thought of having to take what feels like my millionth course here. It got me thinking (well, more so than the usual garbage relentlessly circulating in my mind), about my education here, the tens of thousands of dollars that have pooled collectively towards a plethora of lectures, tutorials, discussions, headaches, names and faces. All of which have managed to merge together to form a paradoxical monster in front of me, one that stares down unblinkingly and expects me to blurt out some completely prophetic culmination of the knowledge I have obtained here in a way that will make me sound ... REALLY EDUCATED.

This is a rant. I am officially ranting. Not a passive aggressive disapproval of the global education system, but a slap-in-the-face to every second of confusion that we all go through when we realize that while we may know a lot, we don’t actually KNOW anything. After having taken countless environmental science courses, why can I not accurately describe the exact cause of humid fog in south eastern Nepal? I assume I should know that sort of thing like the back of my hand, but I’d much rather talk about the long gun registry. Maybe I should have majored in it. Then I would have had to take some course in Canadian politics and I still would've felt completely devoid of true knowledge. Hell, I doubt I would have stayed awake in class at all. It’s difficult to teach politics and avoid droning on. Much appreciation for the Liberal Arts majors of the world, you are all Gandhi.

When did ‘organized education’ begin to make us feel so disorganized? The first years are grappling to find a way in this unfamiliar competitive atmosphere. Suddenly York is looking pretty good. The 2^nd years are optimistic. “This is the year I’ll really get into my major.”

The 3^rd years are desperately trying to boost or maintain a GPA. “Grad schools only focus on the last 10 credits.” Why are you repeating that to yourself over and over again under your breath?

Then there are the veterans, the 4^th, 5^th, 6^th, and bless your soul if you've managed to survive this long: 7^th years.  We feel like we've grown up an immense amount, we've dealt with club executive drama, roommate issues, landlord issues, the registrar, the SCSU, our irritating best friends, the TTC, the family, those annoying people at the gym who kick you out if your towel isn't the size of a tennis net and so many others. Somewhere along the road, we began to feel more mature, maybe even more emotionally stable. People gained weight and confidence, lost their virginity and religious convictions. Some combination that pushed us to ‘grow up’, but it was never a course, or a class that seemed to do it. I've heard a lot of “ This course is complete bull****" but not a lot of “My birthday’s in July, but naw man naw, XYZC15  lecture 5, THAT’S when I really turned 21."

This is a rant. It has no ground to stand on and no real argument, but it comes from a place of genuine exasperation. This may very well be one of many rants about THE BIG BANG of education. The courses may be coming to an end, but the confusion might hang around for a lot longer. It seems like the more credits I earn, and the closer I get towards obtaining that honours undergraduate degree, I find myself at a loss. If only it were the age-old question about what one does after college. Is it time to immediately begin the job hunt? Go to rehab? Dump the tool you've been dating for way too long? Go to the ends of the earth to meet Noam Chomsky and BEG him to unveil the truth? 

NO. The true question is, “What have I been doing all these years?” “What have I learnt," and:

 “What do I know?”

It so happens, that I don’t know.

Maha

The 'Talk' - reality strikes back

Dear friends, fellow students, countrymen.

These last 2 weeks have been a roller coaster ride for me. I had course conflicts, club activities and homework all within the first 24 hours of setting foot on campus. Now that everything has been resolved and I have braved the stormy water I would like to share the lessons I have learned with you all.

First lesson I learned was that the prep I had done for the semester in the holidays totally paid off. Becoming more organized and recognizing that I would have to sacrifice my 'free' time to pull off all my plans has been the key to not having already had a mental breakdown, sort of.

I met a slew of amazing people this week. A UTSC alumni that quit his job and started his own company (Brandon Chu from Tunezy woot). Brandon had a full time job and a family within a few years of graduating but risked it all. His reasoning: you have to do what you want, take a chance and put yourself out of your comfort zone or  you will never learn anything. I know this is true but hearing it from someone who is following their dreams doing well shone that ray of light into my stormy week.

Lesson 1: If you invest in something you feel strongly about, there will be a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of that rainbow.

Next I had the return to my club. The team goes through a lot of struggles. Any group with limited funding, volunteers and real responsibility would. However when I see the amazing potential and efforts my team puts into our work it makes me believe in what I'm doing.

Lesson 2: Be around people you like or it will feel like time wasted even if it isn't. Birds of a feather flock together? You are the company you keep? Does Zarish know any more cliches? Maybe?

After I managed to sort out my course conflict dilemma my program supervisor who solved my situation asked me, 'What are you doing with your life?' This completely threw me off my game. I sat around being emo for a good couple of hours evaluating my life and trying to figure out what to do with it. What am I doing? Why are my activities so diverse? Why couldn't I just be a doctor/engineer/lawyer? Am I a lost soul destined to be included in the unemployed statistic of recent grads? Then I talked to a friend (and mentor). She asked me if my self esteem was really low enough to allow anyone to make me doubt myself that easily. She had a point.

Lesson 3: (Bradon also mentioned this) If you don't have your life completely figured out yet it is not the end of the world. You will find your path. Just put yourself out there.

I hope this helped someone out there. Main reason I wanted to go over all this with you guys was because I've made a lot of these mistakes and questioned a lot of my choices over the last few years.

C'est la vie.

Z.

If you want to know more about Brandon or the group that set up the speaker event: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=483907854983954&set=a.273679559340119.60801.273675996007142&type=1&theater

Your handy guide to the university textbook economy

Moiz's most anticipated movies of 2013

It's my first blog of 2013 and we're already two weeks in! Boy, that was fast. Let's hope we're keeping to all the goals we made at the beginning of the year and even if we're not let's hope we learned something from them. I personally am not a fan of New Year resolutions because I don't think you'd need an excuse of a new year to make goals for yourself; you should start right away at any time during the year. But hey, if it's helping people set goals and become better within themselves, you can't really argue with that. 

For today's blog, I figured since I'm a movie-head and 2012 was a wonderful year for movies I'd look at my list of most anticipated movies for 2013. I was going to do a top 10 but after I made a list I figured that limiting the list to 10 would be flat out heartbreaking. Therefore, I just made a master list of every movie I plan to watch this year. Let me know which one's you're planning to see in the comments below!

PS. I starred the one's that I am particularity excited for.  

Post-Apocalyptic Action



Oblivion: Tom Cruise finds out Earth isn’t quite as devoid of human life as everyone believes. But who’s keeping that knowledge secret? And why? (April 19)

**After Earth: Will and Jaden Smith play a father and son who crash land on a planet that’s been evacuated of human life 1,000 years ago. They must now survive the wildlife that’s rampant across the planet. I mean who doesn't want to see another Will and Jaden Smith movie? (June 7)


World War Z: Brad Pitt leads the fight against the zombie apocalypse in this adaptation of the best-selling novel. This one is packed with heart-pounding action. (June 21)





Super Heroes



Iron Man 3/Thor: The Dark World: Phase 2 of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe kicks off as two Avengers get sequels, with Iron Man facing off against The Mandarin and Thor going up against Malekith and his Dark Elves. (May 3, November 8)


**Man of Steel: Superman gets another starting point courtesy of director Zack Snyder, this time with Henry Cavill playing the orphaned alien who sets out to protect Earth. Produced by the maker of the most recent Batman Trilogy. (June 14)


The Wolverine: Logan (once again played by Hugh Jackman) travels to Japan for some samurai action in this latest installment of the X-Men franchise. (July 26)


Comedy

** Anchorman 2: No word on whether Baxter will be returning for this sequel but I'm still pretty excited. (December 20)


The Hangover Part III: All bets are off as the Wolf Pack is on a road trip once again. (May 24)



Drama



**The Place Beyond the Pines: This one is starred only because of Ryan Gosling and I can't wait to see all the new tumblr gifs this movie will produce. (March 20)


**The Great Gatsby: Probably my most favourite book ever being turned into a movie starring Leonardo Dicaprio... Enough said.  (May 10)




Action Adventure



The Lone Ranger: Two words, Johnny Depp.  (July 3)


A Good Day To Die Hard: Jai Courtney plays the son of John McClane, a role once again reprised by Bruce Willis, as the two of them avert a nuclear heist in Russia. (February 14)


Fast & Furious 6: More drag racing and other action that’s both fast and furious. (May 24)

G.I. Joe: Retaliation: Sequel to the original that came out a couple years ago. If you need more incentive, Channing Tatum. (March 29)

Family Flicks



*** Monsters University: A SEQUEL TO MONSTERS INC. 90's kids, rejoice. (June 21)


*** Despicable Me 2: Can't go wrong with those cute minions, Definitely a favourite. (July 3)

Jack the Giant Slayer: Bryan Singer directs this modern day fairy tale about a young boy who climbs the beanstalk to face the giant and rescue the princess. (March 1)

Shamelessly pushing weird onto UTSC

Remember when you were soooooo random XD growing up?

Remember when Ice Age came out¹ in middle school and nobody could hold you back when, in the middle of a conversation between some friends slightly more interesting than yourself², you would yell SQUIRREL! and quickly whip your head away from everyone? Not paying attention while your eyes dried out in the collective sighs of everybody who had already seen that movie a month before you?

Remember when you had to do WHATEVER IT TOOK to show your parents you were sooooo rebellious? You came home and your hands and face are 100% covered in bright green highlighter “JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO BE GREEN MOM, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

Wait, was that just me?

Well, after spending years of our lives trying to find ourselves, after the metaphorical, “momma’s #1 cutie” shirt from Zellers didn’t fit any more, and the lone bumper sticker on our parents' minivan says, “My child^wasis going to be^isan honour student”, we have all found our way here to UTSC. We’re living relatively independent lives³, many of us living on our own now, struggling to do our laundry, eat well, uh…function?

Ok, so we’re TECHNICALLY adults now and we should do the whole 1 Corinthians 13:11 thing⁴ and “put the ways of a child behind [us].”

Yeah, that’s important right. I mean, you don’t want to be forty years old and not know how to cook your own food so you eat the same flavour of hot pockets⁵ for lunch every day in the super-office communal future-wave. Wondering why everyone avoids you, sitting in the same smelly mustard stained dress shirt and Bart Simpson coffee mug you’ve had and never washed⁶ since you were twenty.

Most of you should try to straighten your life out as much as you can while you’re here, I’m sure many of you are working part time now, pursuing some hobbies to your utmost ability whenever you can⁷, learning how to interact properly with people of the same and opposite sex so they’ll stop making fun of you⁸. I’m sure you’re already trying to work through your ‘quirks’ through various New Years Resolutions.

However, for the good of the character of the school, your own happiness, and for the joy of those around you, I hope you choose to embrace your weird this year. Don’t abandon it so it only lives on in some untagged childhood Facebook photo you’ll never see again because you deleted that creepy dude⁹ who took the picture anyway.

I beg you, don’t tuck away your small, very common and, for some reason, embarrassing behaviours to the recesses of an anonymous post on the internet that you laughed at. Live the experience and be proud of it. Sing or hum in the hallways when you’ve got a good song going in your head, if you’re walking and think of something funny and laugh about it, or try not to laugh about it, don’t try to hide the fact that it happened, share your joke while it’s still fresh and while it’s still good enough to laugh at. If you put together an outfit but it seems almost OUTRAGEOUS, someone’s going to think that’s the best thing they’ve seen all day, so don’t put it away.

Embrace your eccentricities this year, show them off, share them with people. It’s important, I think, not only because so many of the weird little things you do make you happy, but because they can easily be shared and make others happy. If you make someone smile, they might hold the door for you, and maybe even the next person they meet at the top of the stairs, and so, spread the joy.

I hope, while you grow older and wiser this year, and embrace what CS Lewis, “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” Just think of how weird and happy little kids are, and then think about how much people love weird things¹⁰.

---

1. To all of you who only became familiar with the franchise after all the mindless sequels nobody older than nine cared about^1.1, I’m sorry.
1.1 i.e. Though not in the cool Land Before Time way, sorry.
2. Remember, this is back when a person’s character could be equally correlated to how cool their Beyblades were. If you had crappy Beyblades growing up, I'm sorry.
3. Children of needy helicopter parents that have never flown away, I’m sorry.
4. If having someone mention a bible passage in a non-religious context offends you, I’m sorry.
5. Imagine though, 20 years in the future, what kind of amazing hot pockets flavours they’ll have? I swear we’ll be able to eat lab-grown genetically engineered unicorn meat that will taste so good that if you eat more than just one bite you’ll be so overloaded with OMG DELICIOUS you’ll be in agonizing pain, but only because your brain thinks you’re UNWORTHY of having such a sensory experience more than once every 24 hours. Imagine a cross between pizza, ice cream, brownies, poutine, but ONLY the goodness of each. Does that sound gross? I’m sorry.
6. There will probably be rare moments where a roommate would clean them out of pity, or by accident, so it won’t be as bad as you imagine.Though it'd never be me, sorry.
7. Never give up on your dreams! One day you can reach the top of that Indie game’s leaderboard. Unless I hack the game and take your spot, sorry.
8. Forever_Alone.jpg

9. Creepy_dude_not_sorry.jpg

10. Case in Point

How to be happy, even though it's January

Speaking of painful dichotomies, that’s what it felt like when I returned from vacationing in Orlando, Florida to the second day of classes at UTSC. The sparkly, magical collages of castles and anthropomorphic mice and wands and pumpkin carriages that filled my dreams turned into the dry, grey doldrums of university life. This is what heartbreak feels like.

Winter sucks. We all know it. It overstays its welcome past about New Year’s, like your friend who wants to stay over while he finds a new place. It’s fun for the first few weeks, and then, you know. The cheery Christmas lights are taken down and replaced by slush and brown snow, and the cold and the dimness become so oppressive that they sort of penetrate your subconscious, casting a mild but noticeable gloom over your every thought. Then by March, winter is promising to move out any day now, and in the meantime he’s leaving puddles of slipped milk in the fridge and burning holes in your ironing board. His influence never truly leaves until mid- or late-April, when your raincoat finally dries.

I suffer, I think, from a weak form of seasonal affective disorder, a depressive state brought about by the low light of winter months. I’m sure that this is pretty common. Have you ever felt a surge of sudden optimism in your life in the first bright sunny day at the end of winter, a feeling that everything is going to be OK, a lifting of some dark smog that’s been clouding your mind, a renewing of the pleasure you get from banal things like studying? If not, I, and all the other people with the winter blues, envy you.

Here are my tips for coping during the worst months of the year.

1. Get light

Light therapy is a genuine treatment for seasonal affective disorder. You, basically, shine light from a lamp at your face as often as necessary, which in theory makes up for the lost sunlight experienced during winter. UV light can cause skin and eye damage, however, so you can use special light boxes made for seasonal affective disorder that filter out the UV light.

2. Wake Up Early

Benjamin Franklin said that “early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” I’m not sure about that, but it increases your exposure to genuine sunlight, which is much more effective for improving mood than artificial light is. It’ll also make you feel more productive—finishing all your work with the sun still up is a good feeling.

3. Exercise

Exercise releases endorphins, which bring you pleasure. It can also make you, cocooned in your bulky coats and sweaters for months, feel good about your body.

4. Escape

Great entertainers and writers for thousands of years have recognized the necessity and nobility of a temporary escape, whether by playing a great videogame, reading a great book, or watching a great television show. Facebook doesn’t count; find something that captures your full attention. If you find yourself feeling low, sink into a new hobby—you’ll emerge contented and perhaps enriched with something that will help you tackle real life.

Goodbye Santa, hello UTSC

Hello again UTSC!

It's that time of the year. Presents are memories, late mornings are history and the delightful lack of deadlines a distant recess. It's school time again! Now there are some of you wide-eyed school-loving nerds out there who are genuinely glad to be back in your happy place. All I can say I wish I was you. For the rest of us I shall use the most appropriate gif Tumblr has.

Well that's the bad news. Now on to the good news! You are half way through the school year! *Enter dancing monkey circus troupe of joy*. 

For all the first years out there who feel overwhelmed, it will be ok. You have learnt a few things and hopefully those bad decisions, like choosing to play video games and stuff your face with that $5 pizza that delivers for free (seriously why did I find out about this in 4TH YEAR?!), the night before your exam, are behind you. If you were one of those goody-two-shoes kids that U of T is apparently famous for, with their A+s and perfect attendance, I salute you. The next semester will be a walk through the park for you. 

For the second- and third-year student, the bad news is you have lots of work to do and most of its in the most depressing months of the year (January and February). Word of advice, stock up on some vitamin D and cod liver oil tablets to keep those blues and coughs at bay. Now for the good news! We will actually get a reading week this semester! This means trips to Montreal, NYC or for the brokest of us downtown? Regardless it will be a mini-holiday and I would highly recommend planning ahead. 

Dear all the fourth/final-year students out there. Give yourself a hug! Its almost over! Run, run towards the light at the end of the tunnel and don't look back! Your future lies ahead! One last stretch of academic battle, laced with the promise of sweet freedom! Think not of your failings but of the glory of making it through one of the toughest universities in the world. 

        Like a sir. 

Anyone got any pointers? Advice? Lessons you learnt? Share! We'd love to hear from you and conveniently have a comment section to provide rant space. 

Here is to hoping everyone had a great vacation or at least got some sleep. 

Let the games begin! 

Z