Wednesday, January 30, 2013

5 ways to slow down the 'going broke' process

So the beginning of the semester is good news for many of us. 'Why?' you ask. How could the commencement of yet another grueling, course-filled four months be good news? Well first off, here’s hoping y’all have friends because they usually make life a little better. University is no place to be eating your lunch in the toilet stall, time to leave the safe zone and let life begin.

ANYWAY BACK TO MY ORIGINAL POINT. Why is the beginning of the semester great for many of us?
One word: OSAP
Or is that four letters? I don’t know. Or maybe even, one word: RESP. Obviously this  'one word’ endeavor has failed spectacularly.

Then there are those like moi, who don’t have the monstrously dangerous benevolence of OSAP in our lives. For me, the new semester brings with it a whole new cornucopia of the anxiety and panic that define my existence. More specifically, I am blessed enough to be reminded by a cute ‘lil webpage that I AM POOR.  To be honest, there is nothing more depressing than online banking. At least in the olden days, you could put off going to the bank and just delude yourself into thinking life wasn’t crashing around you. This whole one-click-away crap has definitely spiked depression rates amongst kiddos like me. Maybe I’ll conduct a study of some sort.

I HAVE STRAYED YET AGAIN.  Anyhoo, the realization that my finances are in shambles usually motivates me to make some sort of really colourful chart detailing my expenditures. It’s a vicious cycle since often, I venture out to the store to buy MORE stationery for purposes outlined above. Then I get to write THOSE new expenditures on my chart with my colourful new pens! Since not all of you can benefit from the pure, undiluted genius that inhabits my brain, I will share with you, 5 tips for saving money in college.

DISCLAIMER: Like every other ‘list’ I make, this too, contains information you already know, but if I can’t make writing material out of your delusions and escapism...What am I to do?

Please, mum.


     Don’t buy textbooks until at least the 3rd week. Most Profs (unless they are angels from above) will encourage you to buy the book. Then you will realize that 80-120 bucks you wasted on a text you have barely touched. It’s better to screen these things before pooling your moollah into them.

      AVOID VENDING MACHINES. Yes, I know they’re right there and it’s so easy to just pop a coin in and get whatever pop or unacceptably sketchy sandwich you want. But facts are facts people; you may for a 2 litre bottle of pop, what you would for a 591ml one at a vending machine.  I know what you’re thinking, “How the hell am I supposed to carry a 2 litre bottle of pop to class?” You don’t have to; a carton of cans is ALSO about 70% cheaper than the same number of cans bought individually at a vending machine. These costs accumulate. Your little pocket of change will be completely depleted in a day if you continue to buy from vending machines unless you absolutely HAVE to.

      STOP BUYING TEA AT TIM HORTONS. They put a teabag in water dude. You can do that yourself. You’ll probably find some cool lucrative way to do it that makes the tea taste better somehow. Where you pay between $1.20 – 2.00 on tea at these campus stores, you could spend the same money on an entire pack of tea bags and make tea every day at home or on campus. Invest in a hot mug or even just a regular one and drink hot tea as many times a day as you want. We have microwaves, you can keep reheating it. The same goes for coffee, you can just buy coffee beans at your favorite place and make those at home. Also, it’ll reduce the amount of time you spend in that ridiculously long line.

Whole box vs one measly cup?

      Share books with friends. If you’re in a course with a friend, which you likely will be in your upper years. Then go halfsies on textbooks. Not only will it greatly reduce your costs (especially if you buy a used book), having one book will motivate you to study together as opposed to alone. You can push each other!
Maybe be more friendly when sharing books with the pals

      Keep your receipts. Every ATM on this campus is littered with the carcass of the many receipts students discard. Most of us don’t even really look at them. It’s why we develop misconceptions about our finances. You have to TORTURE yourself and scrutinize them, watch as the figures go further down with every purchase and FEEL the poverty creeping up on you. The next time you spend $10 bucks on a meal that you aren’t hungry enough for, the haunting image of that tiny chit of paper will salvage whatever remains in your wallet.

Every single time I look at my receipt.

                        G'day to you all !


  1. This sounds completely like me! I waste most of my hard earned cash on tims tea all the time!!

  2. thanks for reminding me that I'm poor


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