Friday, January 25, 2013

When in doubt, send it out

OK guys, guyettes, etc. I know what you're thinking, "Seriously another post by this schmuck!? I thought they got rid of him. I was already yelling 'good riddance' and counting my blessings, etc.! How come he gets to publish his work at UTSC every week and I don't? I'll show him."

Well here's what I'm thinking, "Oh you wanna show me, eh? Prove you got the stuff, huh? Well go ahead, I dare ya, send some stuff to Scarborough Fair. IF YOU'VE GOT THE GUTS."

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, "Scarborough Fair, what's that? Is it nearly as cool or really cool as the UTSC:Pulse student blog?"

Well let me tell you one more time what I'm thinking: "Look, PUNK. This annual journal is going to get distributed into around one thousand, five hundred hungry little hands starving for UTSC's creative juices. Literally dying to see what you're made of. Just imagine, each of these people will go through the book, find your work, get immediately blown away, and they'll have to show it to one other person (or they'll die, seriously). Someone will walk by in the hallway, see that person looking into Scarborough Fair, see your work (absorb the entirety of it's awe-some-ness in less than half a second), and fall to their knees, grovelling to the book. They'll let out a yell that will thunder through lecture halls everywhere, "We're not worthy!" See? That's at least three thousand people's voices praising your name if you submit. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE READY?. 

Oh, you make visual art? Paintings? Digital art? You have photos of your cool sculptures? You write Poetry? Short stories? Literary Essays?  etc.!? Who cares! YOU GOTTA SHOW OFF YOUR POWER FOR IT TO MEAN ANYTHING. What, are you worried you're not gonna get accepted? I'm gonna submit this picture, just to show you it doesn't matter if you don't think you're good enough.

I swore an oath that I'd never reveal who helped me make my magnum opus.
Seriously, the editors are gonna look at this and wanna quit their jobs, right? YOU CAN BEAT THIS. YOU WILL GET IN. PEOPLE WILL FINALLY APPRECIATE YOU AND NOT JUST WANT YOU GONE FROM THEIR LIFE. In short, I'm challenging you to a duel. 

Don't make gifs at gifsoup. I do not endorse that watermark.
Deadline for submitting written work is February 1st. February 8th for visual art. See website for details. Also be sure to check out the past issue to see what it's like!

PS. If you don't get in they're just str8 h8rs, keep on twerkin' your stuff. EXAMPLE: My art, as seen above, always gets rejected for some dang reason.
PPS. I still keep submitting the same piece of perfection every year, regardless.


  1. *fingers crossed* hope your master piece makes it this year. lol

  2. In all honestly I love people who are weird and all, but your articles make no sense, I have no idea what you are talking about, or what you are referring to.

  3. The Scarborough Fair is a great journal that I take much pleasure in browsing though. Good luck to all those that submitted a piece this year! Thank you, Jakub, for spreading word about it. Unlike the two commentators above, I quite like your weirdness.


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