Thursday, February 28, 2013

UTSC Profiles - Professors Profile

As promised my friends this week I've decided to risk my neck and poke some fun at the establishment.

General disclaimer: None of the characters depicted here are of a specific person. They are all intended as general exaggerations of stereotypical characteristics.

Now that we have that out of the way...



  • Is extremely offended that you aren't keeping up with the latest trends in string theory
  • Thinks being dressed up entails wearing jeans 
  • Does not notice if you dyed your hair from black to purple
  • May have used science themed pick up lines (Hey there, you turn my software into hardware) or at the very least will find that hilarious.
  • Does not know who the Kardashians are thus lives in blissful ignorance


  • For someone with Socialist (almost Commi) political leaning wears awfully nice clothes
  • Has long hair, because its awesome thats why
  • Says no more than a five-minute critique, talks for 15 minutes straight
  • Is offended if someone thinks Marcel Duchamp's upturned urinal is stretching the definitions of 'art'
  • Has been vegan for so long that dark chocolate and tea makes them hyper


  • Likes to talk about how much money they make every year
  • Has three companies, is working as a consultant, teaching, fathering children, playing the stock market and then will think about your emails
  • Has an affinity for nice cars
  • Uses 'business people speak' and is thus constantly questioning your 'core-competency'
  • Teaches 'ethics in business', laughing the whole time


Once in a while ladies and gentlemen we come across a prof so awesome, so unique that placing them in any category is a challenge. That prof is the renegade prof. 

Like Batman he swoops into a room swift and heroic. The boring three-hour lecture becomes a riot of laughter and group discussions. Godwin's Law is broken several times and stories of sketchy trips in Morocco (that he doesn't remember all that well for many reasons) are told. 

This prof is the reason I stay in school. The monster of Academia has yet to suck their soul dry and so they fight the good fight. To the examples of such epicness I have encountered so far, I salute you all. 

That is the end for today's mildly offensive stereotyping. May the force be with you for midterms and assignments! 

<3 Z


  1. It sounds like you had a lot of negative course experiences at UTSC, which makes me sad. Still it's not about the hair or the clothes really, is it?

    1. As I mentioned in this article it is an over-generalization and extreme stereotyping. Mostly based of other people's experiences (except the art and management ones). I apologise for sounding too negative! Totally was just trying to be funny and I made you sad :(

      It is most definitely not about the clothes or hair at the end of the day I stuck around this campus and I will defend it but this is satire right?

  2. I don't find it negative at all. It is quite hilarious and I love the over-generalizations and intentional stereotyping. Z's offensiveness makes my day eerrrday ;)


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