Thursday, February 14, 2013

What kind of lover are you?

I promised to do a professors' edition this week but lo and behold I totally forgot about the special day my blog is on. Valentines Day, or as some of us like to call it, 'Singles Awareness Day'. Having almost exclusively fallen into the latter (more appropriate) designation, I would like to offer everyone that feels badly about it a hug. For those of you who have someone, great job. I'm going to eat my body weight in Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream now.

 I am offering you this coupon and if you see me on campus you can cash it in.

Thus, I decided that instead of professors this week we shall poke fun at Valentines Day/Singles Awareness Day shenanigans.

Target #1: The Happy Couples.

Don't know if it's super cute or super questionable
Scorned by the lonely single vultures, you must feel like this 'holiday' is a celebration of the love between you and the present love of your life. Revel in it. Throw it in the faces of the green monsters that rear their ugly heads! Just remember, don't take your friend on a date with three couples and one single person, aka the situation known as 'the 5th wheel'. Fortunately, I have yet to experience this. I simply know a victim. 

Target #2: The Haters

Those who are very outspoken about the stupidity behind this most auspicious of holidays, you need a hug. Refer to the coupon in the beginning of this article. Now I will not lie to you. I was one of these folks. I gave those couples sitting around UTSC the stink eye. Now I have evolved. You see, you get nowhere by emitting these hater vibes. Sometimes you need to recognize it just isn't your time yet but there is hope out there! Or you know what they say, haters gon' hate, potatoes gon' potato. (Which I'm pretty means you can't change facts..I think.)

Target #3: The Forever Alone

Besides the usual image of cats, old lady sweaters and Saturday nights watching the shopping network till 3 am, I give you my anthem.

Target #4: Everyone in between

So chances are there are people without dates, without boundless malice and without the deluded ice-cream-stuffing-forever-alone syndrome. At the end of the day them chaps are the ones that know maybe not having a date this year isn't the end of the world. Even if that was the case last year. Why not just accept that Cupid's arrows are off target for now and you need to express affection for those other love-starved entities in your life. Give your Mama a kiss, hug your bffl (best friend for life) and maybe just smile at a stranger who looks like they've been stepped on a few times.


The best Valentine's Day I had was in 11th grade when my bffl and I ran around school giving out chocolate to everyone we knew. I bought a tub of singles and felt the need to give them to everyone and their mothers. There were some genuinely good vibes floating around school that day. So lets end off this week with, Lonely Boy by the Black Keys. Dancing like a bua5 never looked so pro (before PSY raised the standard off the charts).


  1. Happy Valentine's Day.

  2. I agree people should just be happy and spread the love :)


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