In the spirit of this month, I thought I'd take time out and share my struggle with depression with you, here, now.
One way I deal with my depression is by writing creatively, here is a sample:
Today is one of THOSE days.
It's that day where you get out of bed and ask yourself why?
It's the day you've given up on before it even begins.
It feels like time is moving in slow motion.
It feels like you've made a cute little black hole inside yourself and you're being consumed, and you don't even know where it's headed.
You want to reach out but you're afraid that if you put your hand out, it'll freeze and be stuck. It was a nice idea at first; to make a nice little emotional cocoon and just hibernate there for a little while when the world got a bit...much.
Now it feels more like a never ending case of stairs you just want to reach the end of.
Now it's like you're sick...all the time...on the inside
Now it's like everything is giving up on you, or rather you're giving up on it, and you can't decipher which came first.
Now you're just decaying.
Now you're drowning in quicksand made of lack-of-oxygen and emptiness.
Now time is running out.
Now it feels like you have absolutely no motivation left to pursue anything.
You know you have reason to worry when the things that made you so happy leave you with that bitter taste in your mouth.
You know what the worst part is? It's when you know you're in pain and you just let it rule over you.
All these assignments, expectations, excuses.
Sympathy is such an easy emotion to evoke in you.
I'm hurting you, hurting me.
If I couldn't look at myself in the mirror what makes you think I'll look you in the eyes and admit the truth.
When you're in pain, you're in pain. Why fight, deny or repress it?
I received support in high school, and have come to realize I should reach out and look for support on this campus. I took a big step and I decided to book an appointment with the Health and Wellness Centre. (They are located on the second floor of the Student Centre)
I'll let you know how it went.
Until then stay strong.
Song of the week-