Tuesday, November 27, 2012

That time of year: A very relevant survey

My joy is boundless, the sheer intensity of my euphoria has become a source of irritation to many. You however, are probably not one of them, BECAUSE IT’S THE LAST WEEK OF CLASS!  Freedom prances in front of us, just beyond reach.  Exam time is approaching and thus, we have all begun to you know what.
I’m obviously not about to say ‘study’.

CALCULATE. I meant to say CALCULATE.  Sitting there on a desk or floor somewhere, ignoring your text books in lieu of feverishly calculating current grades, approximate future grades and total course marks. Tis the time of year when many a Scarberian breaks out his/her, her/his (don’t want to piss anyone off now do I? Gender binaries people!) calculator for possibly the first time all semester, to figure out how much Sunday night booze they should’ve laid off. Of course, we all have that iphone/android user friend that points out how great their phone calculator is and they don’t even need an actual one like totally like omg.

Anyway, getting to my point. I have decided that we should all self-reflect Dalai Lama style; figure out how much effort we’ve actually put into school work this semester, it may save us a lot of anger and outrage at our Profs, for not giving us 80s in every course. WE DESERVED IT...or did we? So run off to your cupboards, find something in those Gryffindoor/Dalai Lama colours and behold.

Maha’s completely relevant mini-questionnaire that will jolt you back to life and motivate the    living daylights out of you.

Pick a course.

1       How many course lectures did you attend this semester?
a)      Less than 5
b)      5-7
c)       8-10
d)      All
e)      Most, but I slept through every single one and thus learned little to nothing.

2       How many tutorials/Labs did you attend this semester?
a)      All the ones that are graded
b)      I don’t have tutorials
c)       Most
d)      None, technically. But my BFF signed my name on the attendance sheet and Genius TA didn’t notice
e)      None

3     How many course readings have you done as of now?
a)      All, I go straight to the library after class and do all my readings. Then go volunteer at the soup kitchen
b)      I don’t have readings assigned because my Prof is a freakin Unicorn
c)       Less than half
d)      More than half
e)      Exactly half to the tee.
f)       None, but that’s how I roll. I’ll cram in time
g)      ...Um, none

4    Are you confident that you will pass this course?
a)      Yes, Moron
b)      Yes. If I don’t get an A, I will start a protest
c)       If I get above a 70 on the final
d)      No
e)      Probably not. Not dropping it was a mistake
f)       Probably, *fingers crossed*, or whatever Scientologists do

5  Did you get a decent amount of sleep this semester?
a)      No
b)      I did not
c)       Absolutely Not
d)      Nein
e)      Non
f)       Niet
g)      Na
h)      Nabro

I asked myself these questions. The answers were surprisingly revealing, my work ethic stared right back at me. Try it, you may just feel slightly better about yourself, or drastically worse I suppose. Either way, you’ll get a kick out of wasting some time.

Au revoir UTSC. I hate Rosi.


1 comment:

  1. This was hilarious!! You're writing is very witty and cheers me up immensely :)
    I really do feel better about myself so well done Maha!


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